When I studied the life of David a few months ago, and read his anguish in the Psalms, I realized that I have never cried out to God or called out to him in times of despair quite like David had. Thankfully for me, God inspired the young, soon-to-be-king, to write his feelings down, and then preserved them forever in scripture.
David is a good example for me on how I should be praying to God. This is an area in my life that I tend to struggle with a bit. I love prayer. But, let’s face it, sometimes it can be awkward, right? If praying silently in my head, quietly writing in a journal, or occasionally aloud with family or friends can feel awkward and one-sided now, how do I grasp this concept of crying out to God in times of desperate need just like David did? When I feel desperate, I am often at a loss for words and I rarely respond to my difficulties with immediate and passionate prayer. This is so practical and tangible, I don’t know why I don’t. AND…have you ever asked someone else to pray for you instead of praying for yourself? Yea, me too.
Sometimes I just feel like I can’t make a connection with God, that the relationship just isn’t there. I long to feel His attention and presence in my life. When there is difficulty, I do sometimes lay out the circumstances to Him…but a lot of the time, I just don’t know how to pray or what to say. And honestly, I have never “cried out” to God in any circumstance. I try to roll with it, endure it, figure it out, and fix it myself. But I learned with this study, that maybe I endure too much for too long because I don’t bring it to Him with my full emotion and ask for help or to be rescued from the storm.
I need encouragement to be specific in my prayer life. If I’m going to share a cup of tea and pour out my heart to someone it needs to be with Him, not my girlfriend, not even my husband. Remembering this study not too long ago, I did just that. I haven’t accomplished crying out to God ALOUD, which I think I should do, but I prayed for the first time with everything that I had. It was all in my head as I lay in bed but it was heavy and specific. The next morning, the weight had been lifted, my motivation was renewed, and I moved forward, not with perfection or even being rescued, but with clarity. And I was calm.
I mentioned I need encouragement to be specific in my prayer life. And wouldn’t you know, this connection with God was encouraging to me. I was blessed for trying and applying something I had previously learned. He truly is paying attention. I know my next step in prayer will be to speak out aloud and hear myself calling to God…which is what I should be doing. I know the awkwardness will fade and I will get there. But in the meantime, I am thankful that He met me where I am for now.
“I pour out my complaint before Him, before Him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is You who know my way.” Psalm 142: 2-3