Crying Out to God…

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When I studied the life of David a few months ago, and read his anguish in the Psalms, I realized that I have never cried out to God or called out to him in times of despair quite like David had.  Thankfully for me, God inspired the young, soon-to-be-king, to write his feelings down, and then preserved them forever in scripture.

David is a good example for me on how I should be praying to God.  This is an area in my life that I tend to struggle with a bit.  I love prayer.  But, let’s face it, sometimes it can be awkward, right?  If praying silently in my head, quietly writing in a journal, or occasionally aloud with family or friends can feel awkward and one-sided now, how do I grasp this concept of crying out to God in times of desperate need just like David did?  When I feel desperate, I am often at a loss for words and I rarely respond to my difficulties with immediate and passionate prayer.  This is so practical and tangible, I don’t know why I don’t.  AND…have you ever asked someone else to pray for you instead of praying for yourself?  Yea, me too.

Sometimes I just feel like I can’t make a connection with God, that the relationship just isn’t there.  I long to feel His attention and presence in my life.  When there is difficulty, I do sometimes lay out the circumstances to Him…but a lot of the time, I just don’t know how to pray or what to say.  And honestly, I have never “cried out” to God in any circumstance.  I try to roll with it, endure it, figure it out, and fix it myself.  But I learned with this study, that maybe I endure too much for too long because I don’t bring it to Him with my full emotion and ask for help or to be rescued from the storm.

I need encouragement to be specific in my prayer life.  If I’m going to share a cup of tea and pour out my heart to someone it needs to be with Him, not my girlfriend, not even my husband.  Remembering this study not too long ago, I did just that.  I haven’t accomplished crying out to God ALOUD, which I think I should do, but I prayed for the first time with everything that I had.  It was all in my head as I lay in bed but it was heavy and specific.  The next morning, the weight had been lifted, my motivation was renewed, and I moved forward, not with perfection or even being rescued, but with clarity.  And I was calm.

I mentioned I need encouragement to be specific in my prayer life.  And wouldn’t you know, this connection with God was encouraging to me.  I was blessed for trying and applying something I had previously learned.  He truly is paying attention.  I know my next step in prayer will be to speak out aloud and hear myself calling to God…which is what I should be doing.  I know the awkwardness will fade and I will get there.  But in the meantime, I am thankful that He met me where I am for now.

“I pour out my complaint before Him, before Him I tell my trouble.  When my spirit grows faint within me, it is You who know my way.” Psalm 142: 2-3

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